Wow, Day 40

Wow, it's day 40. I did miss some days of blogging my praises but I never missed a day of actually praising God, and I really do see a difference in my life and the way I think even if I still have a long ways to go.

I praise God for the light. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years now, off and on, it was really bad after I had Deanna. Over the last year things had gotten better, but after christmas it had set in again. At the beginning of April I was on my way to church one Sunday morning and I felt God telling me to go to a different church that evening (Sunset). Now I am not one to go to different churches especially by myself. So I kept questioning whether I was really suppose to go or not, by Sunday night I knew that I was. So I headed to Sunset, the pastor did a sermon on communion, it was really good, but I was still wondering why I was suppose to be there, and then at the end he told us he felt he was suppose to do an invitation for hands on prayer and he especially felt that God was saying that there were people that needed prayer for depression, so I went up and one of the pastors prayed with me, it was an awesome experience God's presence was so real, and I remember the pastor praying for me, I don't remember exactly what he said but the gist of it was, how I needed to fight this depression and that I would get out of it and God wanted me to walk towards the light and I would be free. So 4 months later my days are so much lighter, lighter then they have ever been for as long as I can remember, even though some days are a struggle, something was broken that day. God is showing me his light, day by day, helping me to break free from the darkness.

I wrote this in my prayer journal April 2, 2006.
Father God thank you for today. Thank you for a new beginning. You have opened my eyes, and I listened when you spoke to me. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for picking me up when I fall down. Thank you for your love that never fails. Father God these past days have been dark days, yet you have shown me light, you have shown me there is an end to this darkness and I thank you for that. How does it get so dark?

And God gave me this scripture to answer my question.

Jeremiah 6:4-5
"Prepare for battle against her!
Arise, let us attack at noon!
But, Alas, the daylight is fading,
and the shadows of evening grow long.
So arise, let us attack at night,
and destroy her fortresses!"

The devil tries to keep us in darkness so that we are weak and he is able to attack us when our guard is down.

And this is Gods answer.

John 12:46
"I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness."